The Theatrics of Thunderclan
by EspeonSilverfire2
Summary: Sequel to Warriors Driving Lessons! Yay! Thunderclan get a box of dressing-up clothes and find a widescreen TV, books and DVDs. Hollypaw's still a chav, Stormfur still likes Bob the Builder and Thunderclan have decided to start acting... Now complete!
1. Thunderclan Shakes Up Shakespeare!

_A/N- This is an interesting idea I had one day, and decided to write out. It is set as a sequel to Warriors Driving Lessons, some time after their cycling lessons (that can have a series to itself later, if you want!). Review and suggest whatever plays/movies you want the clan to act out, and if I know it and like the idea, I'll make them perform it!_

_Also, I really don't like Shakespeare plays. Seriously, spending a month studying the Tempest really takes the fun out of it, so when I do say 'stupidly thought it would be good for them'- no offence if you like Shakespeare, it is brilliant, fantastic stuff- I'm just sick to death of it._

_So now, enjoy the show! And break a leg, Thunderclan!_

_Disclaimer-_

_Firestar: Oh cruelest of worlds, you are so harsh! For ownership of Warriors has EspeonSilverfire2 not. Oh why? Oh why?! Such a cruel world 'tis ours…_

_Greystripe: Now __that__ is overacting!_

_Firestar: (pouts) Shut up!_

**The Theatrics of Thunderclan**

Firestar looked down at the nest of things infront of him. The whole clan had gathered round. Well, most of them. The nest contained lots of random twoleg things, mainly lots of twoleg pelts (clothes) and furs (wigs).

Firestar still couldn't believe that Hollypaw had actually found this in the abandoned twoleg nest. Let alone how she'd managed to get the whole lot back by herself.

He grinned. This could provide a whole lot of fun for Thunderclan. Especially after the whole 'bicycle' incident.

Firestar reached into the nest and pulled out a long golden fur (long blonde wig) and a very short, sticky-outy pink pelt (a pink tutu). He put them on and meowed in high-pitched voice,

"Hi! I'm Tigerstar! Look at me!"

The rest of the clan burst out laughing. Squirrelflight reached into the nest and pulled out a shiny gold stick with something red sticking out of it.

"There's something missing." she said, and leaned over to Firestar, smearing the red stuff around his mouth.

"There!" she cried, "Now you look like Tigerstar!"

"Um, Squirrelflight?" Leafpool's meow came from behind, "Tigerstar was before our time. We don't know what he looked like."

Squirrelflight turned to her sister, an evil gleam in her eyes. She turned back to the nest and pulled something out. As fast as lightning, Squirrelflight flung it at Leafpool. It hit the medicine cat on the head and she leapt back. It looked like dung.

"Ha!" laughed Squirrelflight, "It's not real, y'know! I could smell it!"

The clan started laughing again and Leafpool fled, embarrassed.

"Squirrelflight! How could you?"

Squirrelflight turned to see her mother, Sandstorm, giving her a stern look. Squirrelflight looked down at her paws, and meowed,

"I'm sowwee, Sandy-wandy-stowm. I didn't mean to be wude…"

Sandstorm pulled a large pointy gold thing (a crown) out of the nest and jabbed her daughter with it.

"Ow!" cried Squirrelflight, and then, like her name, she took flight as fast as a panicked squirrel.

Just then, Cinderpaw and Hollypaw appeared- along with Brambleclaw, hauling a large black thing behind him- carrying a small black box and lots of hard, flat rock-like things, as well as some thinner, more leaf-like objects.

"Look what we found!" called Cinderpaw.

"What is it?" asked Firestar, him and the rest of the clan coming over to look.

"A giant TV! Along with DVDs and books! And a video camera!"

Millie fainted. She couldn't cope with yet more 'modern' twoleg stuff.

The remainder of the clan cheered.

Stormfur was drooling at the large, widescreen television. Bob the Builder in widescreen! Bliss.

Leafpool dragged Millie to her den at 1mph, Jaypaw arguing with her the whole time.

Hollypaw's phone rang. She answered.

"Heya! … lolz, Bezza. Yeah, we gots da things back ta camp… Nah, mate…No! Don't ya dare mention da 'sexy tom' thing ta Firez and Bramblez! …Ya taped it?! And ya gonna play it on da new giant, widescreen TV?! AHHHHH!! I'M GONNA BATTER YA, BEZZA!! YA DEAD MEAT!!"

The phone disconnected and she sprinted out of the camp.

--

A few days later, the clan had decided to put on a production of various Shakespeare plays, one after the other. Since the other clans had not encountered Shakespeare before, they didn't know the boredom they were letting themselves in for. Everyone in the other clans came to watch, even elders and kits, as they stupidly thought it would be good for them.

The curtains drew back across the makeshift stage that Stormfur- chief mechanic turned DIY expert- had built. A silence hung in the air…

Firestar stepped on from the left (as if you are in the audience) and then took centre stage.

"_Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."_

Blackstar turned to his deputy, Russetfur, and muttered,

"Well, I'm bored already!"

"Oh Starclan this is dull! And we have to sit through this all night! I can barely understand it!" came the reply.

"_From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life. Whose misadventured piteous overthrows, doth, with their death, bury their parent's strife."_

Foxkit turned to Icekit and whispered loudly,

"There's gonna be death?! They're gonna die?! Yipeeee!"

There mother quickly hushed them, and gave them a disapproving look.

--

_Three and a half hours later…_

"Zzzzz Zzzzzz," went most of the audience.

On stage, Greystripe, as Hamlet, was speaking,

"_To be, or not to be- that is the question. Whether-"_

"I'm sorry! I've only got an HB!" called Mothwing from the crowd, who had been working on a crossword puzzle since the start of Act 2.

Greystripe hissed and Leafpool tossed him a spear from off-stage, which he threw at the offending cat.

Mothwing gave a shriek, and then shut up.

Greystripe purred and carried on.

"_Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the sling and arrows of…"_

--

_Four hours after that…_

Blackstar had loved Titus Andronicus, and Russetfur next to him had fainted at all the fake blood, but now Thunderclan had moved on to The Tempest, and he was bored again. He looked up at the stage, only to see Ashfur, parading around as Prospero.

"_Thou poisonous slave, got by the devil himself! Upon thy wicked dam, come forth!"_

Jaypaw, wearing a long brown furry costume with werewolf gloves on his paws, was thrust onto the stage by Leafpool. The apprentice medicine cat was muttering something to himself.

"Stupid cats...don't know why I bother to heal them…make me dress up like a…really dumb!"

Jaypaw made his speech, but then, as he went to move forwards, fell right off the front of the stage, as he couldn't see where he was going. He squashed Foxkit underneath.

"Ow!" Jaypaw yowled.

"Mmph!" went Foxkit.

--

Five hours after that, Thunderclan finally finished. Everyone else had been asleep for the last two plays- Othello and King Lear- and during that time, Cinderpaw and Poppypaw had taken the opportunity to draw stupid round glasses and lightning bolt shaped scars on their faces with bright red lipstick.

When the cats of the other three clans finally woke up two days later, they got very angry about the lipstick, and the attempt at Shakespeare, and at the next gathering, banned it from the clans for ever more.

However, Thunderclan had found their acting spirit, and were determined to do more plays. Cinderpaw had suggested they re-enact movies too, and they'd liked the idea.

The next performance was scheduled for half a moon's time.

Every cat in Shadowclan, Riverclan and Windclan was dreading it.

_Disclaimer 2-_

_Firestar: And thusly, the authoress realised that she had wronged the great Bob the Builder, and must now make amends, by stating hence, that she did not own it..._

_Greystripe: Firestar! What did I tell you?!_

_Firestar: Mummy...!_


	2. Indiana Jones, LOTR and Pirates

_A/N- This is a special chapter for Feathertail's Loyalty! Woo! Thanks for that review AGES ago- so here's all three ideas you suggested: Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean! So, Land Ahoy!_

_Disclaimer- Okay, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones or Warriors. It's not fair! –breaks down sobbing from the unfairness of it all-_

_Spoiler Alert- This story contains spoilers for the ending of all the films they do, so if you haven't seen the movies, but want to, don't read this chapter. Oh and spoilers for Outcast to. Thanks!_

**Thunderclan Does the Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones and Pirates of the Caribbean**

**(With Some Help from Shadowclan and Riverclan)**

"Firestar! Where do you want the giant boulder to come in from? We need to set up the equipment!"

Firestar cracked his whip in frustration and pulled his hat down harder onto his head. He watched as four cats carrying the massive rock tottered around precariously with it and then accidentally dropped it. Straight onto him.

"That's it!" he cried, "We've had problems with the melting Germans, problems with the snake pit, and problems with the giant rock! I'm sick of it! We're doing Temple of Doom instead!"

From a tail-length away, Leafpool sighed and went to tell the Shadowclan helpers to change out of their Nazi uniforms and into Thuggee outfits.

Thunderclan were putting on three performances tonight. They were: Indiana Jones (now Temple of Doom and not Raiders of the Lost Ark, with help from Shadowclan), the Lord of the Rings (with help from Shadowclan again, and cut down into a one hour performance by a psycho stressed Millie with scissors an hour beforehand) and Pirates of the Caribbean (with help from Riverclan).

--

In the seating in front of the stage, all the cats who were watching were ready and applauded as the sun began to set behind the stage, and the players prepared to begin.

The cats almost immediately began to laugh and cheer as Sandstorm was thrust out on stage in lipstick and a dress, doing her dance routine for Indiana Jones. The toms in the audience cheered the loudest, and some cried out,

"Can we come backstage later?!"

"We love you Sandstorm!

"I wish Squirrelflight was _my_ kit!"

The spectators watched in awe through the negotiations and the vial mix-up, and then gasped at the magnificent chase sequence that Thunderclan managed to do, despite the small size of their stage.

A bit later on, they were down to the mine cart sequence and had been forced to give their crowd a small fifteen minute interval, whilst Stormfur fitted the mine cart tracks onto the stage.

As the curtains rose, Leafpool gave the cart a massive shove, and sent Firestar, Sandstorm and Lionpaw hurtling across the stage.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" cried Lionpaw.

And he was.

Right in Firestar's face.

--

Half an hour later, Thunderclan were about to begin their second performance, the Lord of the Rings, but were very nervous. Jaypaw had insisted on a sensible roll this time, and had then claimed that Starclan had decreed that he must play Frodo. And who were Thunderclan to argue with the will of their ancestors?

The production started with the big battle sequence where Isildur cut the ring off Sauron's finger, with the commentary by Whitewing, just like in the movie. The cats hadn't been bothered with the hassle of all reading such a long story, so had just watched the films instead on their widescreen television.

Of course, Thunderclan had forgotten one thing, when deciding who should take part in the battle scene. They had cast Lionpaw in the role of Elrond, and had therefore had to use him in the scene. But when faced with a group of attacking Shadowclan cats (playing the orcs and various other nasty creatures) he had gone a little over the top.

The Shadowclan cats limped off stage, not knowing whether they would still be able to act by the end of the play.

The watching cats loved the performance, and everything else went well, until the final sequence with Gollum, Frodo and Sam inside the Crack of Doom. Ashfur was playing Gollum, with Berrypaw playing Sam.

Guided by Leafpool from behind the curtain, Jaypaw held the small ring out offstage, standing on the ledge that Stormfur had built for him.

"Go on Frodo!" called Berrypaw, whose phone then rang.

"Heyaz! Lolz, Hollz, yeah. 'M right in da middle of a play righ' now…Yeah. Lord of da Sexy Rings!...Well _I_ think Galadriel is _well_ sexy, mind ya…yeah, she's played by Whiteywingy… yeah well, dat's _my_ nickname for her! Byez!"

At this distraction, Jaypaw turned around, and began to lose his balance. He started to wobble precariously on the edge of his raised platform.

Ashfur, in a bid to keep the show going to plan, more or less, leapt straight at Jaypaw, like he was supposed to do, in order to steal the ring from him, and then fall onto the crash mat below, just offstage.

Ashfur leapt at the wobbling Jaypaw, and both of them fell off the edge.

"No! Frodo!" called Icekit from the seating.

"I didn't know they had mobile phones in Middle Earth," commented Onestar, to Gorsetail.

Offstage, Jaypaw and Ashfur fell, but the blind cat's instincts were too strong for him to just land on the crash mat, and instead, he flailed out, screaming, and caught the giant boulder release mechanism, now set up in time for them to perform Raiders as soon as they were ready…

The boulder was released.

The giant rock tumbled across stage, squashing Berrypaw, and the group of Shadowclan and Thunderclan cats just entering from the other side.

Leafpool lowered the curtain and sent Cinderpaw out to in front of it to explain to the audience what was going on, while Leafpool set about clearing up.

"Um, well, we have a slight problem," began Cinderpaw, nervously, to a silent crowd, "Um, Frodo should _not_ have fallen and Middle Earth _was_ saved..."

A small smile crept onto her face as she gained confidence and realised the best thing to say next.

"But if you want to find that out, you'll have to go purchase a copy of the film from our gift stand on your way out. Just turn left at the stream! There'll be ice creams there too!"

The grey tabby giggled and went backstage again to help them set up for the next play.

--

"But these tentacles really cramp my acting potential, and they make me look hideous!" winged Minnowpaw from the make-up and costume department, behind the stage.

"Oh, do shut up!" reprimanded Mousefur, dusting the Riverclan apprentice's fur with dark brown foundation.

"It's not fair!" complained the young she-cat, "Why do we have to dress up as the bad guys?!"

"Because you're the ones who like water! Now, quit complaining and get into your clam outfit."

On stage, Greystripe was swordfighting with Brambleclaw. The grey tom was playing Captain Jack Sparrow with the Thunderclan deputy playing Captain Barbosa.

Greystripe shot Brambleclaw with his cap gun and Spiderleg, who was playing Will Turner, dropped a shiny gold coin into the chest, complete with fake blood. This caused Russetfur to faint like last time, with Titus Andronicus. Nearby, Squirrelflight was standing and playing Elizabeth, Daisy giving her evil looks from offstage the whole time.

At the end of the first act (aka- the end of the first film) Ashfur was standing at the back of the stage, playing Commodore Norrington and staring sulkily as Squirrelflight kissed Spiderleg, and Greystripe jumped into a tank of water that Stormfur had placed in front of the stage.

As the curtains closed, Greystripe was pulled out of the tank by Mistyfoot, with Leafpool watching, and he loudly complained,

"I'm not used to water! I haven't been in it for seasons! I hate being in water!"

He continued winging the whole time as he was escorted back to the costume and make-up department.

The play continued like it should have done (with only the minor glitch of the big wheel for the second film getting stuck, and Ashfur getting trapped underneath it) until they reached the scene in the final film where it was time to flip the boat.

Stormfur had built a model ship for them to use, and had devised a clever winch mechanism for turning it, using a lever which he would turn to twist the prop. The plan was to turn the ship upside-down, suspended above the stage, for a couple of seconds, and then continue to turn the handle and flip it the right way round again.

All went according to plan for the flipping upside-down, and Squirrelflight, Spiderleg, Greystripe, Brambleclaw and some Thunderclan extras hung from the prop with their claws, but as Stormfur went to turn the ship the right way round again, the lever got stuck, and the ship stayed the wrong way up.

"I can feel my claws slipping!" cried Squirrelflight, hyperventilating.

"I can't hold on much longer!" meowed Greystripe, through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, it was Spiderleg who lost his grip, and dropped several foxlengths onto the blue crash mat below, which Leafpool had insisted on putting there, just in case.

After Spiderleg, all the other cats fell down too, in the order of: Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight (who then passed out from too much oxygen), Greystripe, and then the extras.

The final disaster, which saw an end to the play, came during the final battle between the Pirate Lords and Davy Jones, during the scene when Elizabeth and Will were getting married.

"I do!" called Squirrelflight, dancing around the stage with her sword.

"I do!" yelled Spiderleg, fighting against a Riverclan tom.

Off stage, Daisy growled. She couldn't take much more of this.

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride!" called Brambleclaw from the prow of the ship prop.

Spiderleg and Squirrelflight kissed. Daisy screamed.

The angry she-cat raced over to where they stored the tank of water for the first act, and cut the ropes which had kept it held upright; allowing it to smash to the floor with an ear-splitting crash, and its contents gushed out, flooding the stage with a massive tidal wave. The entire cast and crew were washed away into the nearby stream.

Daisy cried out in triumph. Squirrelflight shrieked in indignation. Spiderleg just cursed.

Leafpool was forced to call an immediate end to the play, and Cinderpaw happily announced that the movie of that production was also available to buy at the gift shop, if the stall had survived.


	3. Star Wars, 'Use the Farce'

_A/N- You asked for it, so it's here! Thunderclan does Star Wars! Yay! It took me hours to write this, but time well spent, in my opinion. I think that's all I have to say, actually. Wow, a short author's note for once! So, let's not spoil the happiness, on with the chapter! And don't forget to use the force (also know as the little purple review button)!_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Star Wars, Warriors, Mr Spock, Doctor Who, ET, Force Action Lightsabers, the Simpsons, ToysR'US or Harry Potter._

**Thunderclan Does Star Wars**

"Firestar, how do you use the force again?"

The Thunderclan leader slapped his forehead and grimaced. He turned away and padded over to where Birchfall (playing Luke) and Mousefur (playing Obi-Wan) were rehearsing. Leafpool was directing, following their dialogue with her script.

"Luke, use the forks!"

"Uh, Mousefur, it says 'the force', not the forks," corrected Birchfall.

"Oh shut up! Who's the eldest here? And anyway, it's my artistic license." She raised her chin and stood proudly.

"Um, Mousefur, have you been watching the Simpsons, by any chance?"

"Yes, I did steal your Simpsons DVDs, Leafpool," the elder replied.

"YOU STOLE MY SIMPSONS DVDS?!"

Leafpool leapt at the offending she-cat, claws unsheathed and a vicious snarl across her face. The resultant fight lasted ten whole minutes. It was the fastest the medicine cat had ever moved.

--

The curtain drew back and the brand new lights that Hollypaw had 'acquired' (EspeonSilverfire2 Big Kitty Lighting Equipment® PO BOX 666, I Luv Firestar Road, Kittypetville, MiddleOfNowhere) shone onto Sandstorm, centre stage, as she slotted Jaypaw's Self-help CD into Berrypaw's R2D2 costume.

"Ouch!" meowed Berrypaw, "That poked me in the eye!"

"Berrypaw!" muttered Sandstorm, "R2D2 doesn't speak."

"Beep," mumbled Berrypaw mutinously.

--

It was time for the fight scene where Obi-Wan was duelling with Darth Vader. Hollypaw had raided the nearby ToysR'Us, and had got them all Force-Action Lightsabers (y'know, the ones where you press the button and the plastic lightsabery bit whizzes out, just like the real thing, but less dangerous, so little kiddies don't chop their stuffed tigers to bits or anything).

"Last time I was but the apprentice, now I am the master," meowed Brambleclaw, as Darth Vader, and pressed the button on his toy. The lightsaber, bright red and glowing, zoomed out.

Mousefur, as Obi-Wan, pressed the button on her lightsaber.

Nothing happened.

She shook it, and jabbed hard at the button, but once again to no avail.

"It won't come out!" she said.

"Won't it?" asked Brambleclaw, coming over to help.

"Nah, the batteries are dead."

"How many does it take?"

"49 AAAs."

"Damn!"

"What?"

"I've only got 48 of those left!"

--

They'd moved on to Episode 5 now, and it was the Hoth battle. Once again, the set-dressing and props had been provided by Hollypaw, who'd nicked a load of ice from the local supermarkets.

"Pow! Pow! POW!" screeched the cats onstage, making sound-effects, and the toms loving every minute of it.

"AAAACCCKKK!" yelled Greystripe, who span around and around on his hind legs, before keeling over, his legs stuck up straight in the air and his tongue lolling out in a very unconvincing fashion.

"Oh, get up, you lazy kittypet," sighed Millie, ducking from an imaginary laser shot and jabbing him with a claw.

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Greystripe, leaping ten tail-lengths into the air and clinging to the curtain rail, refusing to come down until Millie was at least five foxlengths away.

--

"Luke, I am your father."

Birchfall acted surprised, his eyes wide open.

In the audience, Dustpelt leapt to his paws and screamed at Ferncloud,

"I knew you were cheating on me!! That's why you've had so many litters, isn't it?!"

"Oh be quiet, Dustpelt. It's not real, you know."

"Oh, I knew that." Dustpelt sat down gingerly, his skin pink with embarrassment underneath his fur.

--

It was the Death Star Mark II destruction scene, and they'd got their paws on a mirror ball to stand in as the battle station. They'd 'legally got' some model star fighters and were going to act the scene out 'puppet-style' with the cast doing voiceovers.

"Yay! We've blown it up!" called Cinderpaw from offstage.

"Woo hoo!" went Spiderleg.

"Yee ha!" cried Firestar.

Stormfur had linked up some small explosives to the mirror ball.

"Duck and cover, people. Duck and cover."

He pressed the big red button and the mirror ball exploded, showering everyone with shards of glass. The audience screamed.

"Damn it!" cursed Stormfur, "I was going for _im_plosion!"

--

It was the final scene, set on the forest moon of Endor.

"It's party with the Ewoks time!" called Birchfall, and everyone cheered.

As the music began to play off Squirrelflight's i-pod, and the cats on stage began to dance, some of the members of the audience climbed up on stage and joined in too.

"Look mummy! We're in space!" squeaked Foxkit from the stage.

As the party continued, and Sandstorm snogged Firestar (acting as Han Solo, naturally- you don't seriously think I'd allow them to get away with this sort of behaviour otherwise, do you?) in the corner, the rest of the cats formed a conga line and began to dance around the stage. As Greystripe, in the lead, got around to the front of the stage, he trod on a patch of water, melted from the Hoth battle scene earlier, and fell backwards.

"Ouch! My delicate bottom! However will I get any she-cats now?!"

In a domino effect, all the other cats in the line fell backwards too, one-by-one, until it reached Jaypaw and Foxkit at the end.

"Ow!" Jaypaw yowled.

"Mmph!" went Foxkit.

--

"That's it!" yowled Firestar, the next day. "I hereby decree that we shall do no more sci-fi ever again!"

Birchfall looked crestfallen. He quickly hid his Mr Spock action figure behind his back as Firestar looked in his direction.

"But what about our production of Doctor Who scheduled for next week?!" called out Ashfur pleadingly.

"That is cancelled!" replied Firestar pissed-offedly, "Anyway, think of how awkward it would be to have that police box _fading in and out_."

Ashfur mumbled something that would have to be censored if I put it, so I won't. He had very much been looking forwards to playing the Doctor, and kissing Squirrelflight, as Rose, at every opportunity.

"And what about ET the week after that?" meowed Sandstorm from the opposite side of the clearing.

"With a flying bicycle? You have got to be kidding me," answered Firestar, by way of saying 'no'.

"Actually, it would be quite easy-" began Stormfur from nearby, but Firestar's flame-hot glare shut him up.

"Excellent," said the ginger tom, happily, "Now that's settled, next week, I was thinking of doing Harry Potter. Is that okay with you lot?"

Everyone nodded, and several off them pulled out their 'wands' (sticks, actually, but they had a good imagination). Ferncloud pulled out her lipstick, and drew a lightning bolt on her forehead.

Everyone was waiting with eager anticipation.


	4. Warriors and Wizards

_A/N- Sorry for the distinct lack of any real actual um Harry Potter scenes in this chappie, but i haven't watched or read it in a while and i had some other ideas i wanted to use. By the way, before you ask, Squirrelflight is playing Ginny, even if i don't mention it in the actual story. Oh, and yes, that's me at the end- i'm Silverfire- after all, it's part of my pen name._

_Disclaimer- I don't own Warriors, The Potter Puppet Pals in 'The Mysterious Ticking Noise' on Youtube (seriously- go watch it!), the Terminator (that's the 'I'll be back' line), or Harry Potter._

**Thunderclan Does Harry Potter**

"Aha! The great Harry Potty!"

"For the last time, Ashfur, it's Harry _Potter_!" corrected Firestar, dressed up in his Ron Weasley costume. Greystripe and Leafpool, the directors, nodded.

"That's _it_!" shrieked Squirrelflight from onstage, "I've _had_ it! _Nobody_ can get _anything_ right and I'm _sick_ of it! I'm off to my nest…"

She burst out sobbing in the middle of the stage. Sorreltail led her off and Firestar walked over to Greystripe, concerned. Leafpool was staring after her sister, her ears twitching. Finally, she gave a sigh of relief, and relaxed.

"It's just PMT," she meowed, calmed, "Nothing to worry about."

The medicine cat padded off, to sort out the new snow machine.

Firestar leaned over to Greystripe and whispered,

"What's PMT?"

"Post Male Troubles," replied his friend, murmuring.

Firestar gave him a nod and glared over at Brambleclaw, who looked back, puzzled by his leader's sudden hostility.

As you can see, rehearsals weren't going well.

--

As the curtains drew back, the stage was lit up and the audience saw Foxkit, sat in the corner, playing Professor McGonagall in cat form. Cloudtail was thrust on, muttering about,

"Stupid Harry Potter… don't know why I have to play Dumbledore…don't they know he's… stupid, stupid, _stupid_!"

He received a curious look from Foxkit, who then went on to speak his only line,

"Mew," before he was yanked off and replaced by Sandstorm.

"Those twolegs are ugly, smelly, horrid, horrid, stinking, filthy, stupid, lazy, clumsy, clomping, stomping, TWOLEGS!!" she shrieked, and ran offstage.

In the wings, Greystripe leaned over to Firestar and asked him,

"PMT?"

--

In the interval, Spiderleg, who had been cast as the boy wizard himself, was singing and dancing with the rest of the cast.

"I'm Harry Potter! Harry, Harry Potter!"

The rest of the cats joined in and meowed,

"Singing our song, all day long, at Hoooooogwarts!"

Then they all fell over drunk.

--

"So all I've got to do is fly around and grab the big chunky key?"

"That's right," replied Sorreltail, as Hermione.

"And make sure Squirrelflight doesn't throw the key in my face again…" muttered Spiderleg, under his breath.

As Spiderleg jumped onto the broomstick, Stormfur winched it up on the rope from above and the black tom rose shakily into the air.

When he was a couple of foxlengths up, Squirrelflight and Leafpool began to lob keys at him from either side, just offstage.

One hit him in the eye, and he went,

"Ah!"

One hit him (pointy end first) on his butt and he went,

"AHHH!" and jumped off the broomstick.

Onto air.

As I'm sure all of you out there, reading this, will know, it is impossible to stand on air. Obeying the laws of gravity, Spiderleg dropped back onto the harder, more solid, surface, of the stage.

"Stupid flying keys!"

--

"Aha! The big red shiny stone thingy, what's name I've just forgotten!"

"For the last time, Spiderleg, it's a philosopher's, or sorcerer's, stone, and you need to use proper English!"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't say 'what's', you need to say 'whose'."

"Pedantic kittypet."

Daisy glared at Spiderleg.

Just then, Ashfur wandered onto the stage, meowing,

"Sorry I'm late, guys, I was just washing my fur, and then all the she-cats within a hundred foxlengths fainted at the mere mention of my name!"

"Yeah, from fear!" murmured Spiderleg, to Daisy.

"Hey, what's that mysterious ticking noise?" asked Ashfur.

Spiderleg looked at the stone in his paw, the source of the ticking.

"Whose idea was _this_?" he meowed, irritated.

The cats who were gathered, offstage, around the laptop, linked up to Youtube, sniggered.

--

It was Act 3 (aka The Prisoner of Azkaban) and Spiderleg was onstage, acting out part of the scene with the time-turner.

In the Riverclan camp, the battery on Mothwing's Nintendo DS ran out.

"Oh darn it, I suppose I'll have to go and watch Thunderclan's play. I wonder what they're doing?"

When Mothwing arrived at the 'theatre', she gasped and cried out,

"OMG!! It's Harry Potter! I love you! OMG! OMG! OMG!"

She leapt up onto the stage and grabbed Spiderleg into a _big_ hug.

"Get off me you deluded medicine cat! I'm _not_ Harry Potter!"

--

The production concluded rather uncomically, ending at Book 5, when the films ran out, as once again, Thunderclan had not been bothered to actually read anything.

"What's up next?" Greystripe asked Firestar.

"I dunno, maybe the Lion King, but Silverfire wanted us to do Back to the Future and Ice Age."

"Who's Silverfire?"

"Some random silver tabby who came strolling into the camp the other day, muttering about 'so that's what the Highledge looks like' and 'I thought that the warriors den would be bigger'."

"Oh."

"We chased her off, but she just meowed darkly, 'I'll be back'."

Both toms shuddered.


	5. Back to the Mayhem!

_A/N- Okay, this chapter was requested by both me myself ('cause I love the films) and Feathertail's Loyalty (one of my most loyal reviewrs- thanks!), so here it is! But what's gonna happen when Thunderclan tries out time travel?_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Back to the Future or any of its characters, Mr Spock, Ice Age, Bambi, Thomas the Tank Engine, the Simpsons, the Lion King, or Warriors. Silverfire is me in yet another cameo role, so I don't have to both disclaiming her._

**Thunderclan Does Back to the Future**

"I give in!" yelled Firestar at the top if his voice, "We can do sci-fi!"

The rest of Thunderclan cheered. Birchfall removed his Mr Spock action figure from behind his back.

"So what are we doing?" asked Sandstorm.

"Back to the Future! Back to the Future! BACK TO THE FUTURE!" screamed Hollypaw.

Firestar sighed.

"Very well. Back to the Future it is."

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!"

--

The curtains drew back, to reveal Birchfall, as Marty McFly, entering onstage from the left. He was carrying a skateboard, which he dropped onto the floor, and went and picked up the guitar from the corner.

He plugged it in to the loudspeakers (just normal Sony loudspeakers this time, and not EspeonSilverfire2 Awesometastic Klan Kat Special Edition Mega Soopa Loudspeakerz©), and flicked all the switches. Then he played a chord, and was dragged backwards across the stage by the wire tied around his middle.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, "That was fun! Again! Again! Again!"

"No! Get on with it!" hissed Leafpool from offstage, and she prodded Birchfall with a claw.

Birchfall muttered something under his breath and carried on.

The phone rang and he picked it up.

"Hello? Marty?" Cloudtail's voice was projected for the audience to hear via the loudspeaker.

"Yes, Doc?"

"Okay, don't use the loudspeaker, there's a malfunction, okay? Oh, and um, I've forgotten the words… _Cloudtail you idiot! You need to tell him about meeting you with the video recorder! _…Oh, sorry! Yes, um, I need you to meet me here at sometime in the late night or early morning, I can't remember the time… _Cloudtail, you are such a mousebrain!_ _It's 1:15am!_...Oh shut up, Greystripe! Yeah, so meet me in the parking lot at the mall, with the video recorder, okay?"

"Yeah, sure fine, whatever. Yeesh, I can't believe how much they've cut down this script! Talk about a psycho Millie with scissors! This is more like psycho Millie with a chainsaw!"

--

In the parking lot, Birchfall and Cloudtail were about to send the Delorean on its first time travel trip.

"And so I'm sending my dog, Einstein, into the future. One minute into the future! Look, see, the stopwatches are in synch, but when he goes a minute into the future, his'll be a minute behind!"

"Kk, I understand, Doc."

"Bring on Einstein!"

Jaypaw was thrust onto the stage in a dog costume.

"Woof."

"Aww, good doggy."

Jaypaw growled, and launched himself at Cloudtail, biting and clawing him. When he was finished, he felt his way into the Delorean prop and sat there, frowning.

"Bad…doggy…"

"Grrrrrr!"

"Ah! No! Ahhhh!"

--

"No! The cable!"

The cable slipped and fell down, catching on his leg. He carefully reached down and grabbed it, desperate to make the connection. He tugged, but it was snagged.

"Stupid trees!"

He yanked hard on it and it came unstuck. But it had pulled it out from the connection further down.

"Foxdung!" he spat, and connected the cables, before jumping down to the ground below.

Just in time, he managed to redo the connection, and there was a brilliant flash of light.

"There, is that better? The lights around your dressing room mirror bright enough for you now?"

"Yes, fine thanks," replied Squirrelflight. Stormfur sighed.

--

The production over, Firestar called a gathering, and asked his clan,

"So what's next?"

"Ice Age!"

"Bambi!"

"Back to the Future Part II!"

"Thomas the Tank Engine!"

"The Simpsons Movie!"

"Well, I think you should do the Lion King," meowed a voice from the back of the meeting.

The clan looked up, and both Firestar and Greystripe shuddered.

"Silverfire!" they called out in unison.

"I said I'd be back."

Trembling, Firestar managed to say,

"Um, I don't think the Lion King would be such a good idea…"

"Are you questioning me?"

"Um…no…I mean, yes…no…err…"

Silverfire hissed and meowed,

"_And just then, Firestar randomly put on a pink tutu, and started dancing the Nutcracker_."

Randomly, but without any control over his body, Firestar put on a pink tutu, and began to dance the Nutcracker.

"Help! Stop!" he wailed.

"Only if you do the Lion King. I made a promise and I intend to keep it."

"Yes! We'll do the Lion King!"

"_Firestar stopped dancing and took off the tutu_."

Firestar stopped dancing and took off the tutu.

"Goodbye!" meowed Silverfire happily, and she skipped out of the camp.

The clan cats stared at the entrance, and then burst out laughing at Firestar.

Next week's production was changed to Ice Age, but then Firestar mysteriously found his fur dyed pink one morning, and he changed it back again.

Next week's production _will_ be the Lion King.


	6. Hakuna Matatattered!

_A/N- Okay, I'm so, so sorry I've been so long updating this, but I had a lack of inspiration and time, but it's here now! Oh, and thanks to Feathertail's Loyalty for agreeing to help me by having a cameo appearance. I hope you all enjoy it!_

_Disclaimer- I don't own Warriors, the Hakuna Matata lyrics or the Lion King, okay lawyers? No lawsuit for you! Hah hah hah!_

**Thunderclan Does The Lion King**

"_Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passin' craze!_"

"Will you stop singing?!" screeched Squirrelflight, attempting to shove some twoleg headphones over her ears to keep out the noise.

"But we've got to practise!" pointed out Birchfall, and Greystripe with him, nodded.

"Well please go and do it somewhere else! Preferably in the middle of Shadowclan territory!"

The two toms pouted.

Just then Firestar padded into the clearing. He was looking shaken, and his fur was still streaked with pink from its mysterious dyeing.

The Thunderclan leader leapt up onto the Highledge and yowled,

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highledge for a clan meeting!"

Firestar's ear twitched as the clan gathered. He had been cast by Leafpool, their now official casting director, as Simba's father, and he had been trampled by stampeding Wildebeest far too many times for his liking.

"I have decided that we are most definitely NOT doing the Lion King anymore! I can't do it! I'm gonna lose all of my lives before we even get round to the actual performance!"

It was true- he'd lost three lives already from this production.

As the idea to do something else was mentioned, two cats padded in through the camp entrance. One was a long legged tawny tabby she-cat with bright green eyes, and the other was an all too familiar silver tabby she-cat with white paws.

"Nooooo!" wailed Firestar and he sprinted into his den.

Silverfire glared at the clan, and then turned to her friend.

"Treewatcher, please go fetch Firestar."

The other cat nodded and disappeared into the leader's den. She returned a moment later, dragging Firestar by the scruff of his neck.

"Ouch!" the leader complained.

"Will you do the Lion King?" hissed Silverfire into his ear.

"No! It's too hard!" he winged.

Silverfire gave a flick of her tail and Treewatcher dropped the cat.

"Very well. Then what happens next is your own doing."

She gave another flick of her tail and Treewatcher darted out of the camp, and a second later returned with a sledgehammer, a paintbrush, and a can of sky blue paint.

"You know what to do," Silverfire meowed to her, and the tawny tabby nodded, dropped the paint and brush, and took the sledgehammer to the nearest cat's legs. The victim was Berrypaw.

Silverfire purred and picked up the brush. She dunked it into the paint and began to sprint around the camp with it, painting anything in her path, including the cats. Soon Greystripe would have to be renamed Bluestripe.

After the complete destruction of the camp and all unnecessary cats (those who were acting had been painted but not sledge hammered), Firestar eventually agreed to do the Lion King, and agreed the production date would be in three days time.

--

_Three days later…_

"Everything the light touches will one day be yours…"

"Cool! So I'll own all that!"

"Yes."

"Hang on! It's not that much! Can we have a bigger sun so I own more?"

"No."

"I hate you."

"Shut up, Lionpaw."

--

"Scar! Pull me up!"

Brambleclaw looked down at where he was holding Firestar above a red crash mat. Then he glanced off-stage at Leafpool and meowed quietly,

"You're the casting cat. Isn't it a bit of typecasting to put the son of Tigerstar as the bad guy?"

"Brambleclaw, you big and dark. It's easy for the audience to recognise you."

"Just cause Firestar's your father…"

"BRAMBLECLAW! GET ON WITH THE SHOW!"

Brambleclaw looked back down at Firestar and sneered, then he let go.

As Firestar started to fall, he felt his natural instincts overcome his acting talents, and he grabbed hold of Brambleclaw outstretched paw, swinging himself up, and pushing Brambleclaw over the edge.

"Firestar I'll get youuuuuuuu………..!"

"Firestar!" hissed Leafpool, "_You're_ supposed to die!"

On the crash mat, Brambleclaw stood up and declared 'I'm alive!' before racing offstage and peering out from behind the curtain.

Up above, Firestar went 'Oops!', and then 'Oh no! _Trip_!', and fell over the edge onto the crash mat.

"I'm dead!" he declared. Everyone in Shadowclan cheered.

"OH _SHUT UP_!" he yelled.

--

Simba (Lionpaw) was with Timone (Birchfall) and Pumba (Greystripe).

"So, Hakuna Matata?" he asked.

"Yep!" they replied, and then burst into song.

"_Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passin' craze!  
It means no worries, for the rest of your days! It's our problem-free, philosophy! Hakuna Matata!"_

"SHUT UP!" shrieked a stressed and psycho Squirrelflight.

When the two just ignored her and carried on singing, Firestar's ginger daughter picked up Silverfire and Treewatcher's sledgehammer, which they'd 'accidentally' left in the clearing, and proceeded to beat up the two terrible singers with it.

"That'll teach you to take some singing lessons first!"

--

_The next day…_

"So what's next week?" asked Lionpaw, one of the only cats in the clan left uninjured.

"Um, I don't know. I haven't thought of anything."

"Firestar?" asked Leafpool, padding up to the two cats.

"Yes?"

"Silverfire and her friend left us a bunch of 'e-mails', with suggestions."

"Oh," Firestar seemed surprised, but took the printed out e-mails and read them.

"This one seems good!" he said, and held a piece of paper in the air. "We'll do this one next!"

_Which film / play / story has Firestar chosen? Tune in soon to find out!_


	7. The Clans Film Festival

_A/N- Sadly, this is the last ever chapter of Theatrics of Thunderclan, but I'll be continuing with my other fics. You'll be glad to know I've now officially finished school until September! So I'll have tons more time to write! Hooray! Sorry for not updating this in a while, um, lack of inspiration... sorry..._

_Disclaimer- Warriors? Nuh uh. Just messing with their minds, man..._

**Thunderclan Do a Bunch of Commercials**

**&**

**The Clans Film Festival**

The curtains raised to reveal Leafpool standing centre-stage.

"We now present a group of several commercials for your entertainment, followed by an awards ceremony for our actors and crew members from our past few weeks' productions."

There were several groans, with a smattering of applause and a few wolf-whistles. Leafpool glared at the offending cats as she walked off-stage.

--

Three cats padded onto the stage. They were Greystripe, Firestar, and Cloudtail. All three were wearing lederhosen.

"_If you're out hunting,_

_And you want a treat,_

_Just remember all good warriors,_

_Eat squirrel meat!"_

"It's delicious!" added Greystripe, dancing a hoedown.

An angry Squirrelflight marched on-stage and dragged the three toms off by their tails.

Shrieking was heard for the next ten minutes.

--

Next onto the stage was Sandstorm, her sandy fur cropped short. She stood in the middle of the stage, stretching.

"See how my fur is lush and vibrant? That's because I use Paw-10 Pro-Me. Because I'm worth it…"

The audience seating was nearly flooded with drool from the toms, and the she-cats began slapping their mates, and checking their handbags to see how much shampoo they could buy with their savings.

--

Next we saw Spiderleg, holding a fluorescent orange water pistol, come on from stage right. From the other side, various other Thunderclan cats entered, ketchup dripping from their mouths, acting as zombies.

Spiderleg began to shoot the 'zombies' with his water pistol, and they keeled over, or continued to shuffle towards him, moaning "Braaaaiiiinssss…….".

From the front right side of the stage, Cinderpaw held up a large rectangle of white card, on which was scrawled the words,

"Not actual game footage."

Which was replaced by a sign saying,

"Resident Evil- The Kitty Chronicles, coming soon. For Warriors only."

All the kits and apprentices in the audience groaned, and began to beg their parents to buy it.

"But I waaaaaant it!"

"Can I have it for Chwistmas? Pwetty Pwease?"

"It's my birthday soon! I'll be a year old!"

"But I'm almost a warrior! Honest!"

--

"And now for the awards!" announced Leafpool, back on-stage. "Welcome, toms, she-cats and kits, to the Clans Film Festival!"

There were cheers and rounds of applause, and Brambleclaw joined the medicine cat on the stage, holding a microphone and wearing a black tie.

"And the first award is for Best Tom Lead. The nominations are…

Jaypaw, for his role as Frodo in The Lord of the Rings,

Birchfall, for his role as Luke Skywalker in Star Wars,

Spiderleg, for his role as Harry Potter,

and Lionpaw, for his role as Simba in The Lion King."

There was a drum role from Foxkit, behind the curtains, and spotlights circled around the stage.

"And the winner is… Spiderleg, for Harry Potter, in particular for his attempts to defy gravity! Roll the clip!"

A screen was lowered at the back of the stage and a clip was played.

--

"_So all I've got to do is fly around and grab the big chunky key?"_

"_That's right," replied Sorreltail, as Hermione._

"_And make sure Squirrelflight doesn't throw the key in my face again…" muttered Spiderleg, under his breath._

_As Spiderleg jumped onto the broomstick, Stormfur winched it up on the rope from above and the black tom rose shakily into the air._

_When he was a couple of foxlengths up, Squirrelflight and Leafpool began to lob keys at him from either side, just offstage._

_One hit him in the eye, and he went,_

"_Ah!"_

_One hit him (pointy end first) on his butt and he went,_

"_AHHH!" and jumped off the broomstick._

_Onto air._

_As I'm sure all of you out there, reading this, will know, it is impossible to stand on air. Obeying the laws of gravity, Spiderleg dropped back onto the harder, more solid, surface, of the stage._

"_Stupid flying keys!"_

--

"And now, the award for Best She-cat Lead," meowed Leafpool. "The nominations are…

Sorreltail, for her role as Hermionie in Harry Potter,

Sandstorm, for her role as Princess Leia in Star Wars,

Squirrelflight, for her role as Elizabeth in Pirates of the Caribbean,

and Whitewing, for her role as Galadriel in Lord of the Rings.

And the winner is… Sandstorm, for Princess Leia. Roll clip!"

--

_The curtain drew back and the brand new lights that Hollypaw had 'acquired' (EspeonSilverfire2 Big Kitty Lighting Equipment® PO BOX 666, I Luv Firestar Road, Kittypetville, MiddleOfNowhere) shone onto Sandstorm, centre stage, as she slotted Jaypaw's Self-help CD into Berrypaw's R2D2 costume._

"_Ouch!" meowed Berrypaw, "That poked me in the eye!"_

"_Berrypaw!" muttered Sandstorm, "R2D2 doesn't speak."_

"_Beep," mumbled Berrypaw mutinously._

--

There were yet more rounds of applause, and then Brambleclaw spoke again.

"The next category is for Best Lighting. The nominations are…

Indiana Jones,

Back to the Future,

The Lion King,

Harry Potter.

And the winner is… Back to the Future! Roll clip!"

--

"_No! The cable!"_

_The cable slipped and fell down, catching on his leg. He carefully reached down and grabbed it, desperate to make the connection. He tugged, but it was snagged._

"_Stupid trees!"_

_He yanked hard on it and it came unstuck. But it had pulled it out from the connection further down._

"_Foxdung!" he spat, and connected the cables, before jumping down to the ground below._

_Just in time, he managed to redo the connection, and there was a brilliant flash of light._

"_There, is that better? The lights around your dressing room mirror bright enough for you now?"_

"_Yes, fine thanks," replied Squirrelflight. Stormfur sighed._

--

Leafpool then meowed,

"The next award is Best Director. The nominees are…

Greystripe & Leafpool, for Harry Potter,

Leafpool, for Star Wars,

Leafpool & Cinderpaw, for Lord of the Rings,

and Leafpool yet again, for Back to the Future.

And the winner is… Greystripe & Leafpool! Hooray for me! Thank you so much! I'd just like to say thank you to my family, my friends, and especially all the other medicine cats out there…"

Leafpool received a nudge in the ribs from Brambleclaw, who then hastily meowed,

"Roll clip!"

--

"_Aha! The great Harry Potty!"_

"_For the last time, Ashfur, it's Harry __Potter__!" corrected Firestar, dressed up in his Ron Weasley costume. Greystripe and Leafpool, the directors, nodded._

"_That's __it__!" shrieked Squirrelflight from onstage, "I've __had__ it! __Nobody__ can get __anything__ right and I'm __sick__ of it! I'm off to my nest…"_

_She burst out sobbing in the middle of the stage. Sorreltail led her off and Firestar walked over to Greystripe, concerned. Leafpool was staring after her sister, her ears twitching. Finally, she gave a sigh of relief, and relaxed._

"_It's just PMT," she meowed, calmed, "Nothing to worry about."_

_The medicine cat padded off, to sort out the new snow machine._

_Firestar leaned over to Greystripe and whispered,_

"_What's PMT?"_

"_Post Male Troubles," replied his friend, murmuring._

_Firestar gave him a nod and glared over at Brambleclaw, who looked back, puzzled by his leader's sudden hostility._

_As you can see, rehearsals weren't going well._

--

"The next prize tonight is for Best Costume/Make-up. The nominated films are…

Indiana Jones,

Pirates of the Caribbean,

Shakespeare,

and Lord of the Rings.

And the winner is… Pirates of the Caribbean! Roll the clip!"

--

"_But these tentacles really cramp my acting potential, and they make me look hideous!" winged Minnowpaw from the make-up and costume department, behind the stage._

"_Oh, do shut up!" reprimanded Mousefur, dusting the Riverclan apprentice's fur with dark brown foundation._

"_It's not fair!" complained the young she-cat, "Why do we have to dress up as the bad guys?!"_

"_Because you're the ones who like water! Now, quit complaining and get into your clam outfit."_

--

"The next category is Best Special Effect. The nominations are…

The mine cart chase from Indiana Jones,

The rotating ship sequence from Pirates of the Caribbean,

The loudspeaker scene from Back to the Future,

and Simba's father's death scene from Lion King.

And the winner is… Back to the Future! Roll the clip!"

--

_The curtains drew back, to reveal Birchfall, as Marty McFly, entering onstage from the left. He was carrying a skateboard, which he dropped onto the floor, and went and picked up the guitar from the corner._

_He plugged it in to the loudspeakers (just normal Sony loudspeakers this time, and not EspeonSilverfire2 Awesometastic Klan Kat Special Edition Mega Soopa Loudspeakerz©), and flicked all the switches. Then he played a chord, and was dragged backwards across the stage by the wire tied around his middle._

"_Wow!" he exclaimed, "That was fun! Again! Again! Again!"_

"_No! Get on with it!" hissed Leafpool from offstage, and she prodded Birchfall with a claw._

_Birchfall muttered something under his breath and carried on._

_The phone rang and he picked it up._

"_Hello? Marty?" Cloudtail's voice was projected for the audience to hear via the loudspeaker._

"_Yes, Doc?"_

"_Okay, don't use the loudspeaker, there's a malfunction, okay? Oh, and um, I've forgotten the words… __Cloudtail you idiot! You need to tell him about meeting you with the video recorder!__…Oh, sorry! Yes, um, I need you to meet me here at sometime in the late night or early morning, I can't remember the time… __Cloudtail, you are such a mousebrain!__It's 1:15am!__...Oh shut up, Greystripe! Yeah, so meet me in the parking lot at the mall, with the video recorder, okay?"_

"_Yeah, sure fine, whatever. Yeesh, I can't believe how much they've cut down this script! Talk about a psycho Millie with scissors! This is more like psycho Millie with a chainsaw!"_

--

Leafpool let out a mrrow of laughter at the clip, and then spoke,

"And finally, tonight, our last category. It's Best Production, or as we like to call it, the Paw d'or category!"

"Yes," Brambleclaw carried on for her, "And the nominations are…

Pirates of the Caribbean,

Star Wars,

Harry Potter,

and Lord of the Rings."

Leafpool smiled and stepped forwards.

"And here's the moment you've been waiting for, the winner of the Best Production category at the Clans Film Festival 2008 is…"

There was a drum roll.

"Star Wars!"

There were rounds of applause and cat-calls from everyone as the cast and crew of the production appeared on stage to bow and collect the award. Birchfall took hold of the shiny gold trophy, whilst the others smiled and waved.

Birchfall grabbed Brambleclaw's microphone, and said,

"Oh thank you! Thank you for this award! I know it means so much to everyone here that you enjoyed our production! We love you all! I'd just like to say a thank you to my agent- the wonderful Mothwing, and also to my biggest fans – Minnowpaw and all her friends. You are the best people in the world! And now…"

Just at that moment, a crook appeared from off-stage, and the talkative tom was dragged into the wings. All the other cats walked off after, leaving just the two hosts left.

"And now, dear friends, we've got a very sad announcement to make," mewed Leafpool,

"I'm afraid that Thunderclan shall not be putting on anymore productions for the time being. It seems a certain Silverfire wants to do other things with us, such as locking us in a room, and we've got no choice but to obey our evil overlord. So, this is goodbye. You've been great, all of you. We'll miss you!"

The lights dimmed and the cats walked off stage for the last time.

And then Brambleclaw tripped over.

"Who left the clam outfit lying around?!"


End file.
